Why I Focus on Spark Over Matter

—video transcript—

When I first started sharing in the personal development and life coaching space, I spoke about decluttering and simplifying your life in order to make room for what matters to you most. Over time, I evolved my language, and now what I share with you is all about decluttering and simplifying, but for the purpose of letting you design a life that sparks you.

This change in language is not just me being a word nerd and leaning on semantics. I think the nuance and the shift is really powerful. So I wanted to share with you today why I speak about designing a life that sparks you versus figuring out what matters to you most. So here we go.

I’m gonna start with a quote from Einstein. This is an actual quote from a film from 1948. Here’s a little snippet from him to get us in the mindset. “…mass and energy are both but different manifestations of the same thing end.”

So let’s look at these words. Mass occupies space and measures the amount of matter in an object or a substance. Energy comes typically in the forms of heat and light and is most simply defined as the ability to do work. A spark is light, it has warmth, it’s energetic, it does work. Matter forms mass, it has volume and density.

Can you see where I’m going with the :what sparks” instead of “what matters” language?

When I focus on what sparks me, I feel uplifted. I feel bright and enlivened. When I’m all about what matters, I kind of get a sense I’m carrying something important that can’t or shouldn’t be dropped. I know this is all my perception, but in my perception, spark is generative, while matter is more burdensome. This is why my message is now “design a life that sparks you” rather than the “make room for what matters” that I used to say.

And here’s a really important twist for you. The things that spark you probably matter to you as well. Still it’s often more helpful to let your spark guide how you get involved with something rather than operating based on the concept of what matters. This is because the spark is fueling while the matter can be exhaustive.

For example, you may care deeply about the welfare of dogs because dogs delight you; you love them. When your delight in dogs fuels your actions related to their care, you are less likely to burn out or spiral into anger or fear.

What sparks you isn’t about keeping on the sunny side with false positivity and nothing but fun, fun, fun. No—the spark ignites from a soul place as your core values strike like a match across your truest self, creating an expression of the divine. The spark comes from inner joy and hopefulness that can sustain even when circumstances may cover the light or circumstances make matters just too much to bear.

I think of “design a life that sparks you “as not just an in invitation, but a call to action. And it may seem easier on the surface than it actually is. And here’s why. Many of us have no clue what truly sparks us. We may be so trained and numbed that we’ve lost the thread of who we really are. We’ve lost touch of the things that are truly spark and not just in the moment desires, pleasures, or wants that could be fleeting. So as you think about this, if you’re having trouble really identifying the things that spark you, give these consideration.

– I talked about what matters to you. So in our culture, most of us are assimilated to taking up causes and fighting for things that matter. So look at the flip side of what you might already have identified in this manner. Turn those things upside down to see if there is a spark associated, because there probably is.

– Pay attention. Wake up and pay attention when something causes you to giggle, smile, outright laugh, look back for a second take, or raise an eyebrow in curiosity. Pay attention when you like or are intrigued by enough to bookmark the webpage or dog-ear the page in a book or remember to tell a friend or write it down in a note. Those moments can be great indicators of what sparks you.

– Shut off the valve and get quiet. We live in a world of constant input and stimulation, and that makes it challenging to see and hear what’s within ourselves. So take a break from media, all the socials, the pings and dings of your phone and your devices, and spend time with yourself just to get some clarity. Clear the clutter and make space to find a spark.

– And if all of this is eluding you, you can go back to considering the stuff that you just want or that you think is fun. It’s very helpful, if that’s where you need to start, to think about what of those things you just like, perhaps you like to buy or do. And what connects to your childhood—maybe that version of you that existed before the world got its hands on you. Think about those things.

I mentioned earlier that the spark ignites when it’s like a match strike of your values across who you truly are. I’ve shared about identifying your values previously, and I hope that you will revisit that message as you define your spark and what sparks you and enlivens you in this life. And you wanna design a life that ignites that more and more, getting in touch with your values is quite imperative. So I encourage you to consider values which certainly align with that which will spark you and will matter to you. We’re not disregarding that entirely. But it’s really that equation, that beautiful connection between all those pieces and parts of you. that we sometimes really do get out of touch with.

I am here and excited and happy and sparked to help you find your values, find your spark and declutter and simplify on the path so you can really get there. I look forward to staying in touch and working with you.

Thanks for being here!

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