Be Your Own Curious, Compassionate Observer
Be a curious, compassionate observer of yourself.
This is so helpful. The two words I’m using to describe what kind of observer to be are incredibly important.
Curious. That means you’re open; you’re ready to learn. You don’t presume you have all of the answers out of the gate. Compassionate… that you will come to the observation with care. without judgment. Be the curious, compassionate observer of yourself. Here’s how to do that.
First, understand that you are a biological creature. You are a physical being on this planet. You are embodied. You have a body. Sounds really basic, but how often do you remember that about yourself? So when you’re being curious and compassionate in your observation, and you come to that with an understanding that you are a physical being, having a physical experience on this mossy orb that is our earth, our planet, it can be very helpful. I’ll explain more in a minute.
Know that that physical being is about 3% conscious self leader, 97% autopilot. You are conscious and aware and leading yourself in your daily activities about 3% versus the 97%, what I call the support staff of who you are that is running on autonomic and automated functioning. So that’s things that your body does naturally, like digest and breathe and blink and maintain your body temperature. Those things run without your conscious awareness, and we’re very grateful for that. Then there’s the parts, the things that you do that you’ve learned deeply, so much so that they’re automated or habitual. Know this about yourself as you are the curious, compassionate observer of yourself.
Then receive a truth that there is the you, Y-O-U—all capital—versus the you in the moment. I operate on the principle that there is a truer, bigger, deeper self, the YOU that’s in all capital letters, and then there’s the you that’s that physical being that’s operating in the moment. So receiving that truth can be very helpful as you call upon YOU to be curious and compassionate in a observation of yourself.
Then in all this, we need to learn to default to the pause. In order to effectively observe, you have to step back. You have to pause. You have to be able to separate from you in the moment that may react with emotion or instinct. Over time, this is like a mental muscle that strengthens so that you catch yourself more quickly to step back and be able to observe and then choose how you wish to respond in any given moment. This is incredibly helpful.
So as you become the curious, compassionate observer of yourself, and then you’re able to pause to allow the time for the observation, then you have the superpower of being able to decide how you want to respond versus emotionally react in observing yourself.
Don’t judge. Again, you’re a biological being and even your emotions serve a biological, often protective or motivational purpose. So there is no shame, no judgment in how you maybe instinctively reacted in a moment. But by pausing, you are able to regulate yourself, which means get yourself back down to a healthy baseline, and you’re present, and that 3% CEO of yourself can awaken and discern what’s really happening in the moment. Then you are able to then make conscious choices about how to respond.
I felt led to share this today because I’m applying it. I try to apply it, obviously, every day at all times, but as some things were coming outta nowhere in the morning, the course of the day. I really needed the reminder to be my own curious, compassionate observer. In being the curious, compassionate observer, I can guide myself, I can lead myself to be more intentional and intelligent.
Thanks for being here on this journey. I hope this helps you, as YOU compassionately and curiously observe yourself and then make conscious decisions to move forward with all capital Y-O-U throughout your day.
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